Overcoming low self esteem: “Where was my self respect”

Meredith Vieira

“Just as she started to experience success in front of the camera [in the 1970s], Meredith Vieira found herself embroiled in an abusive relationship,” a new More magazine article reveals.

“My career was starting to take off, and he was a person that tried to take control,” Vieira says. “He would slap me and then make up, saying, ‘I’ll never do this again,’ crying. I pushed him emotionally, and he lashed back physically. It escalated to the point where he actually threw me out of the apartment naked. I sat out all night in the stairwell, and the next morning he let me in. And that’s when I started to plan my departure. It took almost 12 months… But you wonder. I consider myself a pretty smart woman, and I got into this situation… It all worked out. I can look back and go, Where was my respect for myself?”

[from article: Meredith's View: Meredith Vieira on Her Career, Family, and Future, by Marilyn Johnson, MORE magazine, May 2006]

Teri Hatcher

Teri Hatcher in revealing her sexual abuse recently, commented, “I don’t think you have to be molested to be in pain as a woman, to feel like you don’t deserve good things…”

Psychologist Ellen Langer

Psychologist Ellen Langer says “self-respect is not contingent on success because there are always failures to contend with. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because there is always someone better.”

She adds that people with “self-respect are less prone to blame, guilt, regret, lies, secrets and stress.” [from article: Self-esteem vs. Self-respect]

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden in his book Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Tranformation says that “how a person judges his or her self-esteem affects how that person operates at work, in love, in sex, in parenting, in every important aspect of existence – and how high he or she is likely to rise. The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.”

Also see his article Healthy Self-Esteem.

Jenna Avery

Jenna Avery, a “Life Coach for Sensitive Souls,” says in her article Understanding Empathy that it is a basic matter of loving yourself: “Seems simple to say that, doesn’t it?,” she writes. “But self-care and self-respect – along with the ability to protect yourself and the ability to say, “No thanks!” – come from a place of deep self-love. Aren’t you worth it? When you get down to it, aren’t you the most important person in your life? And you deserve to be loved by the most important person in your life!”

Sally Reis, PhD

Sally Reis, PhD cautions that “Talented young women have to learn that to plan for themselves is essential and not a selfish act. Finding environments in which success is celebrated and individual differences are respected is crucial – so they can produce creative work and find personal happiness. If women do not recognize their potential, they usually will not fulfill it.” [from her book: Work Left Undone: Choices and Compromises of Talented Women]

Psychologist Michele Carelse

Psychologist Michele Carelse notes in her article Improving Your Self Esteem, “True self-esteem implies a realistic assessment of one’s abilities and potentials… Many people who consult me have problems with self-esteem and low self-esteem often underlies problems in other areas such as business, relationships, and general achievement.”

Pierce Brosnan

Positive and healthy self-regard is, of course, not just an issue for women. Actor Pierce Brosnan [“James Bond”], for example, admits he knows “what it’s like to loathe oneself. To feel that deep self-loathing.”

Fortunately, we can repair compromised self esteem, and gain a healthy appreciation of our value.

> related pages:
Articles: self concept / self esteem
Self-esteem / self concept resources sites books
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