Relationships for the gifted may be rare and demanding

Marg Helgenberger, William L. PetersenIn a scene in the tv series “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”, forensic scientist Catherine Willows (Marg Helgenberger) says to Gil Grissom (William L. Petersen) in a deeply ironic tone:

“You’re right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles.

“But no relationships… Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.”

True peer relationships are rare and demanding, perhaps especially for women – and men – who are exceptionally talented.

Hypersensitivity to destructive influences from others may demand protective isolation from hurtful relationships, even family members.

Many gifted adults are lonely

In her article Can You Hear The Flowers Sing? Issues for Gifted Adults, Deirdre V. Lovecky, Ph.D. notes that many gifted adults “are lonely because of a lack of true peers.

“Feeling comfortable with oneself, having a wide variety of interests, knowing that there are some people who value at least parts of themselves, and viewing lonely times as a chance of further self-care and self-exploration are ways of growing in personal power.

Salma Hayek portrayed Frida Kahlo in the film “Frida” and has commented on one of the more destructive problems with many relationships:

“We always think that you have to stand by your man, but women who do that usually end up sacrificing everything about themselves. Frida Kahlo stood by her man all the way, but she never stopped being who she was.” [Hispanic Magazine, Oct 2002].

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related article: Gifted Women: Identity and Expression by Douglas Eby